Is a Service Right for my Family?

Funerals play a very unique role in the lives of loved ones. A funeral does more than just provide a final resting place. A funeral:

  • helps loved ones come to terms with the reality of the death
  • allows family and friends to express their grief
  • provides a means for others to support and comfort the bereaved
  • celebrates, honors and validates the achievements and interests of the loved one who died
  • recognizes the characteristics and qualities of who that person was and still is to those living

Research shows that those who are able to heal and recover from grief most fully are those who are given the time to:

  • say goodbye
  • think and talk about the person who died
  • surround themselves with family and friends
  • accept the finality of seeing a loved one at peace

The Role of Rituals
Our culture celebrates milestones with rituals. When a ritual is not performed, especially acknowledgement of a death, people are often at a loss as to how to support the grieving survivors. Often friends will avoid family of the deceased because they simply do not know what to say or they assume the family wants privacy. For many it is more difficult to heal and recover from grief without support.

Debilitating Illnesses
For those families whose loved one suffered from a debilitating illness, a funeral provides the opportunity to remember that person before illness and pay tribute to their earlier life – one often filled with interesting, dynamic experiences.

"I Want a Party Not a Funeral"
We have helped families create short secular services, new contemporary rituals or catered gatherings without services. The options available at Duksa Family Funeral Homes are as unique as the needs of the families we serve.

"Ignore My Death"
Occasionally, we hear phrases from parents to children similar to:

  • "I don't want a visitation, service or anything after my death."
  • "Don't spend any money on my funeral; use it for yourself or the grandkids."
  • "I don't want you to be sad when I die; cremate my body and move on."
  • "Let's say our goodbyes now so that you won't need to later."

Discuss your Plans with your Family and Provide Options
Logically, family members may understand the "ignore my death" directive. But when a death occurs, logic shuts down and emotions take over. Some people need to deal with emotions, grieve and move on before they can become logical again. Giving family members your approval to make decisions that are best for them can be very helpful.

Is a Service Right for my Family?